Today grades were due. I love my job most days, but this was not one of those days. My students make some really poor decisions sometimes. It is amazing how they are unable to see the longterm effects of things. Each term, students are allowed 3 absences. If they miss more than 3 days, they may come to the opposite school session ANY day (AM students can come PM, PM to an AM) or they can make up classes after school, and the last few weeks they can even make up days on a Saturday. It takes 2 hours to make up a 4 hour absence. It is really not that hard to do. Twenty four of my students FAILED because they did not make up the days. Twenty four students will lose credit this term and need to repeat ALL 4 classes. Almost all of these students would have passed otherwise.
Seventeen students failed my class this term because they did not turn in the pages that they ALREADY FINISHED coloring all term long. They needed to glue the pages to a sheet of paper and turn it in to me by Friday. They had TWO days to GLUE! They will be repeating the entire term because they had a borderline low grade and didn't turn in their coloring. How sad!
Today, as we started term 4 classes, I was confronted by at least 5 students who were confused about their schedules. They were sure they had already studied Romeo and Juliet. Why yes, they did. And yes, they did understand it and do almost all the work. However, because poor attendance choices or one major assignment not turned in, they now need to do it ALL again. They are completely crushed, but they knew this back in Term 2 when they made the choice. It is amazing how the consequences suddenly set in. They felt no disappointment when they saw the failing grade on their Term 2 report card, but suddenly they realize what it means. For those students, today is the first of many boring days sitting in the same 4 classes for the second time around. And for some discouraged souls, its the fourth and fifth time around. I like Romeo and Juliet as much as the next person, but can you imagine learning it four times or more?
Each time this happens, I am not sure how to feel. Part of me has pity and wants to bump them up to passing this time around. I want them to have at least the hope of passing. But part of me knows that they need to learn to make good choices. I really don't have any deep spiritual thoughts when it comes to my students. I struggle between being the compassionate teacher giving hope or the disciplined educator producing students who excel. No matter how I feel, all 8 of my current classes have at least one person in each for whom it is the second time around.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Perspective
It amazes me how different cultures and upbringings have completely different perspectives. Working with at-risk teenagers, I often here a lot of things that cause me to rethink my own views. I am made aware of how judgmental I can sometimes be. Today I heard a judgment from a student that I cannot get out of my mind.
Many of my students are young mothers. This student...lets call her Amanda... is a 16-year-old with a 3-month-old son. Her own mother just had Amanda and her sister taken away and put into foster care because the state deemed Amanda's mother unfit. Its easy to pass judgment on her situation, but since I know her well, I have managed not to.
Today we were talking about Romania and the girl I sponsor. Amanda said she often sees the commercials for sponsoring children in other countries and is annoyed. She said, "I don't understand why we can't send them birth control instead...they obviously can't provide for their kids". She said the "problem" will not end unless they stop having babies. Until then, media will always have to beg people to send money overseas. She was sick of it all.
I could not believe it! I can't tell you how many people in my life have said the VERY SAME thing about Amanda and her family's situation, yet she had no clue. I had no idea how to respond. I decided to tell her a bit about perspective, and as nicely as possible explain that some people feel the same way about girls at our school...that they should be forced on birth control because they don't raise kids well. She listened, and knew that this was just information, not my opinion of her at all. I'm not sure she learned anything, but I sure was shocked at her attitude and am still sorting out my thoughts. Feel free to share any of yours...
Many of my students are young mothers. This student...lets call her Amanda... is a 16-year-old with a 3-month-old son. Her own mother just had Amanda and her sister taken away and put into foster care because the state deemed Amanda's mother unfit. Its easy to pass judgment on her situation, but since I know her well, I have managed not to.
Today we were talking about Romania and the girl I sponsor. Amanda said she often sees the commercials for sponsoring children in other countries and is annoyed. She said, "I don't understand why we can't send them birth control instead...they obviously can't provide for their kids". She said the "problem" will not end unless they stop having babies. Until then, media will always have to beg people to send money overseas. She was sick of it all.
I could not believe it! I can't tell you how many people in my life have said the VERY SAME thing about Amanda and her family's situation, yet she had no clue. I had no idea how to respond. I decided to tell her a bit about perspective, and as nicely as possible explain that some people feel the same way about girls at our school...that they should be forced on birth control because they don't raise kids well. She listened, and knew that this was just information, not my opinion of her at all. I'm not sure she learned anything, but I sure was shocked at her attitude and am still sorting out my thoughts. Feel free to share any of yours...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Three right turns boarding don't make a left...they make you fall :)
I just returned from 3 days of snowboarding and I am very sore...to say the least. The last time I snowboarded, I was 18. I had my own board, matching "outfit" and the whole deal. That was 9 years ago. A lot has happened in 9 years, and luckily I am not the same person I was at 18. I like to see myself as more mature and wise. However I also learned that with that can come some negative.
On my first run, I was really nervous. I was not even sure I remembered how to get off the lift without falling. That would be an embarrassing way to start the day. Everyone saw that I had all the right stuff to be an expert snowboarder and I knew I would not measure up.
I somehow managed not to fall on my face, but when I strapped my board on at the top of the hill and headed down memories came back. I picked up speed and made a sharp turn to the right - flawlessly. I began to go straight and pick up speed again, but as I leaned left I suddenly hesitated and made another right turn. I was starting to go from fast to dangerously-close-to-a-wipe-out fast, so to slow down I turned right again. At this point I was almost in the trees on the right side of the mountain. I needed to head left. So I did what any snowboarder pretending to be an expert would do - I sat down on my butt and flipped my board over so that I was headed left. I went as far left as possible until it was time for my flawless right turn. I was headed for the trees on the right again and it was time to turn left or sit down on the mountain yet again. I sat down.
Somehow the memory of the pain after my very first snowboarding lesson came back. I knew if I turned left and fell, I would fall on my knees. The pain of sliding down an ice patch on my knees had me too scared to even try. The wisdom that had come with 9 years of aging told me to do whatever possible to avoid that pain. I ended up going down the mountain backward (left foot first instead of right). I made it down with minimal falling, but cheated the entire way down.
The next day I woke up determined to turn properly. I was in so much pain from taking the easy way out - I rode my back edge the entire day and my legs were sore. I went to the easiest slope I could find and practiced my turns. I realized that I did remember how to turn left, and every time I tried, I succeeded. The entire 3 days, I only fell once making a left turn. I fell more often when I was trying to "cheat" and avoid the turns. I wanted to write off my lack of ability to wisdom, old age, or pain but I knew the real problem was fear. At 18, I was not afraid of the pain. Somehow between 18 and 27, I learned to avoid anything that might hurt.
Sadly, life on this side of 18 looks a lot like that. I tend to avoid anything risky. It’s easy to mistake caution with fear. I think I am being wise, but really I am afraid. I moved to Fort Worth not knowing a soul, and loved it. Now I am still here and the idea of starting over somewhere else is so scary. The idea of a new job is 'unwise' because I have great benefits and coworkers (so I tell myself). But what if that's what God is wanting for me? Is my fear that I like to call "wisdom" causing me to disobey?
The Bible is filled with people being called to do scary and unwise things (unwise by our world's standards). I may like to say I am wise, but the real problem is a lack of faith. I feared turning left because I had no faith that I could succeed. Though I had fallen on my face a few times in my snowboarding life, I had no reason to believe that I would be permanently damaged by a few left turns. I might have fallen a few times, but overall my ability was reliable, I just needed faith. How much more true is that with God? My boarding ability is by no means flawless, so my faith in my boarding skills may disappoint. But God is perfect; when I take the risk and obey, He is faithful. He may allow some bruises along the way, but He will never let me down.
On my first run, I was really nervous. I was not even sure I remembered how to get off the lift without falling. That would be an embarrassing way to start the day. Everyone saw that I had all the right stuff to be an expert snowboarder and I knew I would not measure up.
I somehow managed not to fall on my face, but when I strapped my board on at the top of the hill and headed down memories came back. I picked up speed and made a sharp turn to the right - flawlessly. I began to go straight and pick up speed again, but as I leaned left I suddenly hesitated and made another right turn. I was starting to go from fast to dangerously-close-to-a-wipe-out fast, so to slow down I turned right again. At this point I was almost in the trees on the right side of the mountain. I needed to head left. So I did what any snowboarder pretending to be an expert would do - I sat down on my butt and flipped my board over so that I was headed left. I went as far left as possible until it was time for my flawless right turn. I was headed for the trees on the right again and it was time to turn left or sit down on the mountain yet again. I sat down.
Somehow the memory of the pain after my very first snowboarding lesson came back. I knew if I turned left and fell, I would fall on my knees. The pain of sliding down an ice patch on my knees had me too scared to even try. The wisdom that had come with 9 years of aging told me to do whatever possible to avoid that pain. I ended up going down the mountain backward (left foot first instead of right). I made it down with minimal falling, but cheated the entire way down.
The next day I woke up determined to turn properly. I was in so much pain from taking the easy way out - I rode my back edge the entire day and my legs were sore. I went to the easiest slope I could find and practiced my turns. I realized that I did remember how to turn left, and every time I tried, I succeeded. The entire 3 days, I only fell once making a left turn. I fell more often when I was trying to "cheat" and avoid the turns. I wanted to write off my lack of ability to wisdom, old age, or pain but I knew the real problem was fear. At 18, I was not afraid of the pain. Somehow between 18 and 27, I learned to avoid anything that might hurt.
Sadly, life on this side of 18 looks a lot like that. I tend to avoid anything risky. It’s easy to mistake caution with fear. I think I am being wise, but really I am afraid. I moved to Fort Worth not knowing a soul, and loved it. Now I am still here and the idea of starting over somewhere else is so scary. The idea of a new job is 'unwise' because I have great benefits and coworkers (so I tell myself). But what if that's what God is wanting for me? Is my fear that I like to call "wisdom" causing me to disobey?
The Bible is filled with people being called to do scary and unwise things (unwise by our world's standards). I may like to say I am wise, but the real problem is a lack of faith. I feared turning left because I had no faith that I could succeed. Though I had fallen on my face a few times in my snowboarding life, I had no reason to believe that I would be permanently damaged by a few left turns. I might have fallen a few times, but overall my ability was reliable, I just needed faith. How much more true is that with God? My boarding ability is by no means flawless, so my faith in my boarding skills may disappoint. But God is perfect; when I take the risk and obey, He is faithful. He may allow some bruises along the way, but He will never let me down.
writer's block
~~~~i have no idea why its been so long since i have written...i will try to write more often now, even if its short and pointless every now and then :) ~~~~
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