Monday, September 03, 2007

Off Limits

Adam and Eve. Every Sunday-school-raised child has heard the story many times and knows all the "church answers" to all the right questions. You can imagine my disappointment when I found that my Sunday school class had 4 lessons over Adam and Eve. How on earth does one drag out the story for 4 weeks? I'm pretty sure I shared my discouragement with all my fellow Sunday school teachers. I knew I would need to fill in the lessons with a little extra.
The Word of God is powerful and active, sharper than any double edge sword. It's amazing how easy it is to forget that the 'familiar' stories we read in children's Bibles are part of the powerful word of God. As I was reading over my lesson material, God really started to get a hold of my heart. As I looked at the lesson material about God's covenant with Adam, the typical questions were listed. What would you have liked most about living in the garden (most the kids said being naked to this one...haha) and other shallow questions of the sort. But then a deeper question stood out to me. The lesson started to focus on God's provision and Adam's call to obedience. The question asked, "Are there areas in your life that God has labeled "off limits" but that you continue to pursue?" Right away God convicted me. I could not get it out of my head.
Did Adam and Eve pursue the tree of knowledge of good and evil? Maybe. They were obviously near enough to the tree to be tempted into sin. They had no reason to doubt God's boundaries, and maybe they did not pursue it, but they did not resist the temptation either.
I can't even begin to list the countless things I have KNOWN God said no about and yet I sought after. The church answer didn't work with this question. Usually the kids list things like the Ten Commandments. "Thou shall not kill" is off limits to me (and all people), but I do not struggle here because I do not in any way struggle with the desire to kill...church answers don't fit what God was trying to tell me.
God has called me to avoid some very specific things that I cannot stop chasing after. The hardest part is that the specific things God says no to in my life are often good things, great things even, but not things He has for me. No one knows I am pursuing sin because no one else knows that God has set that particular thing as "off limits" for me. The details are not for important for blogging to the world, but I know I find myself struggling with the same sins over and over again as I pursue jobs, guys, and friendships that God has specifically closed doors to. (See my "Screaming and throwing pillows at the TV" entry) I fall in to temptation and find myself asking God why I am again in this situation. I know He has my best in mind; I know He has an amazing plan for me, but somehow the rebellious child in me can't resist. It's almost as if I think that maybe, just maybe this time I'm right and He's not.
Every time I read the story of Adam and Eve, I thought about how easily they seemed to sin. There were so many other trees to eat from. It was the only thing God said no to. As I put the story in to perspective of my own life, God has given me so much freedom in Him and said no to very few of my desires. How is it that I continue to pursue those very few things He says no to? I dance around with temptation and run to God acting shocked when I fall on my face and give in. The solution? There is no easy answer, but I find the more I pursue Him, the more I am able to trust that the boundaries He has for me will ultimately change my character to be more like His.